im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
