I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
