are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize