I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
