So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize