Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
