And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
