Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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