Sry I called you an 8
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
