u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
