If i come over, it means nothing
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
