i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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