I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
