New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
false alarm, still single
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
