If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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