dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
This is classic penis vs brain.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
