last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
