id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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