you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm like, not good at living.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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