sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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