Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
