I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
