how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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