dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
