I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
