And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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