Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He better not be in your backpack
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
