I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
