would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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