Your mouth is God's brothel.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
