I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
