I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
what day is it and did you see me today?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
