I want to walk on stilts...naked
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
