If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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