so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
