Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
