I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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