I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
