Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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