who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
