he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
