Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize