i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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