tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
