Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
