Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
