what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
