I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
