went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize