First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
