It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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