Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
