The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
