i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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