Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
