spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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