If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
