I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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