I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Be still, my beating vagina.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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