you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
