Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
