at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize