if only i could text you this smell
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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