I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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