Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
