yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
