I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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