she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
