Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
