based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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