Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
