Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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