You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
