He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
