one two three fourrrrnication!
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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