i think i have herpe
just one?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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