Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
