The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
