just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
