I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize